By Katrina Seamons
@Deliberatefamily

“It is time for a Home-centered church, supported by what takes place inside our branch, ward, and stake buildings..”

Do you remember when President Nelson announced this change? I don’t think we truly knew what a home-centered church would look like, but we have seen adjustments throughout the last few years with ministering, gospel learning, and church programs. It has been fascinating to watch the Lord transition us to focus on what matters most.

As we see the church making changes, what is our part in that? Ultimately, global change starts at home. In order for the church to effectively become home-centered, each family also needs to transition as well. What are we doing to adjust our focus in our families? Are we still lingering in church-centered traditions? What does a home-centered family look like? Here are a couple of strategies to help our families be more home-centered and focus on the things that matter most.

Tap Into Our Proactive Power

When we are church-centered, we wait to be told what to do. We wait for leaders to prepare our kids for baptism, priesthood, or patriarchal blessings. We wait to know when there will be youth activities or temple trips. We wait to be told what to study with our families.

Being home-centered means we are proactive. We are actively following the Lord’s counsel to be “anxiously engaged…and bring to pass much righteousness. For the power is in [us].” We rely on the power in us to help our families. We prepare our children for baptism and other big milestones, with the help of the church organization. We schedule wholesome activities and temple trips with our families and friends. We pray to know what our children need to learn right now and act on promptings that come. We have the power to do these things that matter.

A few months ago, my son was struggling to make friends. We taught him skills he could use like smiling more, asking questions, and including others. We practiced those skills at home with his siblings but I felt he needed practice with people he didn’t know as well. As I pondered this, I came across an article about families using support from the church. My son’s activity day leader came to my mind. I texted her to ask if she would be willing to help me out and she immediately responded with a resounding yes! She was so grateful I reached out and said she was looking for more ideas to do with these boys.

We don’t need to wait to help our families. We can be proactive by relying on the spirit, asking questions, and using the church as support for the things we are doing at home.

Rely on the Holy Ghost to Remember the Bigger Picture

Have you ever put on socks where the seam was sticking out so far that it drives you crazy? So crazy that you can’t even really think about anything else going on? If you haven’t experienced this, I bet you have had a child who has whined about it!

Why does that seam override anything else you can think about? It’s so small! It should be so easy to put it out of sight and out of mind. But in reality, it is natural to focus on something that feels wrong. It is easy for our human nature to focus on the problem and forget the bigger picture. We forget that our foot is warm because of our sock or that our feet are avoiding blisters. Likewise, we can become so concerned about something we are not doing, that we forget all that we are doing. Through personal revelation, the Holy Ghost can help us remember the big picture and ease our every day worries.

Last year I spent months worrying and wondering how to better implement the Children and Youth program with my children. I wanted to use the booklets weekly and I pictured watching them progress by writing down every step as directed. But I just couldn’t get it to stick. I felt frustrated.

After a long time of trying all sorts of ideas, the spirit whispered to my mind “There are 3 parts of the children and youth program. Look at the big picture.” As I broadened my perspective I saw that it was true. There were 3 parts: Gospel Learning, Service and Activities, and Personal Development. I realized I was so focused and discouraged about the personal development booklet, that I was overlooking the bigger picture.

We were actually doing quite a lot in all three areas.

Our family was participating in gospel learning and study every day through the Come Follow Me program and daily conversations about gospel topics. Our calendar was full of family activities and service—taking dinner to family members, temple trips, going bowling, movie nights, and family vacations. And our kids were developing in all 4 personal development areas. I could see improvement where they were growing in their talents and skills with schoolwork, leadership callings, sports, and musical programs. The spirit helped me to recognize that even if we weren’t using the booklets, we were using the program in our home in everyday life. And that was what mattered.

Our Homes are Where We Become Like Jesus

In the New Testament, Luke records that “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.” Where do you think he learned these things? It was in his home with his family. His parents had the power to raise him. We also have this same power within us. We can create intentional opportunities for our children to learn and grow. And through the gift of the Spirit, we don’t have to do it alone. He helps us to remember that what matters most starts in our homes.

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