9 Tips for Improving Your Come, Follow Me Study
By Jen Thatcher
For many members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the beginning of the New Year brings excitement as we begin the study of a new book of scripture. This year, it’s the Old Testament, and that book alone can feel very daunting for some. Especially for those individuals and families who haven’t necessarily succeeded with Come, Follow Me in the past.
Some might feel like everyone else jumped on the Come, Follow Me boat a few years ago, and they completely missed it. Well, if this is you, I’m here to say that the boat is still here. The blessings are waiting and you can succeed, even with the Old Testament and even if you have failed in the past. Here are 9 ideas to help you:
The Lord Rewards Effort
If you or your family have struggled to get into a rhythm with Come, Follow Me, don’t give up. One of Satan’s favorite lies is that “you’re too late, and you missed it”. He doesn’t want you to try again. He knows the spiritual blessings that will come into your home even just for trying. Sister Joy B. Jones explained, “The Lord loves effort, and effort brings rewards….We are always progressing as long as we are striving to follow the Lord. He doesn’t expect perfection today….our commitment to progress brings eternal rewards (April, 2020).” So determine that you will keep trying. Day after day. Week after week. And the Lord will bless you for your efforts.
Expect Opposition
Our prophet has recently warned us that, “The adversary is increasing his attacks on faith and upon us and our families at an exponential rate. To survive spiritually, we need counter strategies and proactive plans” (Nelson, October 2019). What was the main counter strategy President Nelson counseled us to put into place that day? Regular Come, Follow Me scripture study. But we can still expect opposition, especially when we are trying to do the things that give us spiritual protection against the adversary. It’s important to remember that Satan’s attacks are personal. He attacks us individually and as families. We need to expect that opposition and recognize it when it comes. Then we can call upon God to give us strength. He is mightier than Satan and He can help us overcome.
Seek Heavenly Guidance
Heavenly Father has a perfect knowledge of our situation. He knows how to help us succeed where we have failed in the past. We’ll get a lot further when we involve Him in our planning. The prophet Jacob taught us profoundly, “…seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand” (Jacob 4:10). As you sincerely ask the Lord for direction, pay close attention to the thoughts that come into your mind. Also consider, have you received any promptings that you have not yet acted upon? If so, determine to follow them. Those promptings are often the answers you have been seeking.
Identify Your Biggest Obstacles
It’s good to take an honest inventory and see where you’ve gone wrong in the past.
At the beginning of the year, we asked our kids, “If you were the teacher, how would you grade our family scripture study in 2021?” It wasn’t a surprise to hear their answers. No one gave us an A. We all knew we didn’t deserve one. But the best part of the discussion came next, when we asked, “why would you give that grade? What were we lacking from getting an A?” They answered right away, “well, sometimes we are in such a hurry” or “sometimes we’re distracted” or “sometimes we have a bad attitude or we aren’t into it very much”. That was a great moment!
We were thrilled that they identified our obstacles. Then we asked, “what could we do to earn an A in our family scripture study this year?” And they willingly listed several things we could do to make it better. We could have easily lectured them on how we needed to change, but by letting them lead out, they had “buy in”.
Ask questions to invite your family’s honest feedback to identify your biggest obstacles and ways you can improve together. Then come back to that conversation as a reminder, as you seek to establish better patterns.
Stop Comparing
It’s natural to look around and see what others are doing with Come, Follow Me. But then we get an idea in our mind that others are doing it perfectly, and we compare that with our worst-case scenario. That is an unfair and unhelpful comparison. Other families actually aren’t doing it perfectly, and they aren’t you. You have a different way of learning, a different set of needs and struggles, unique personalities, a different schedule, and so on. What works well for others usually won’t work best for you. You’ve probably heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy”; well, it also distracts us from seeking personal revelation. So let go of what you think others are doing, and focus on your own unique circumstances and needs.
And keep in mind that your Come, Follow Me study might look different at this time, than it did in the past. Situations change as we go through different stages. That’s why we need to re-evaluate from time to time to make sure we’re approaching it the best way for our current needs.
Keep it Simple
There are so many helpful resources out there for Come, Follow Me, including podcasts, videos, books and maps. But they can feel very overwhelming for some. It’s perfectly fine to start with the basics; gather together, open the scriptures, read a few verses, and then discuss what you read. That’s all. No one said we have to go all out. And we don’t have to cover everything or understand it all. The primary goal is to invite the protective power of the Spirit into our homes. Day by day, we are laying a foundation of gospel knowledge to build upon through the years. We are following the counsel of our prophet to “make time for the Lord” and make our “spiritual foundation firm”. But we do that by doing the small things that become big things over time. We can keep it simple. That really is enough. And that’s how we set ourselves up for success that we can build upon later.
Build it Into Your Schedule
Experts suggest that the best way to start a new habit is to pair it with something you are already doing consistently. So, consider what daily event you could pair your Come, Follow Me with. When do you all gather as a family anyway? Is it for breakfast or dinner? Or would schedules come together best right before bed? We know a family that reads the scriptures every morning over breakfast. They never miss breakfast, and they never miss reading the scriptures. It works for them. What would work best for your family?
Remember the Purpose
Sometimes in family life we get caught up in the daily grind. But if we step back to see the “big picture”, we remember that everything we do in our homes is for the ultimate purpose of bringing us closer to each other and to God. I had a wise professor who made us repeat this phrase every class period: “The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship”. He wanted us to remember it 5 or 10 years down the road when we had families of our own. So, if you’re doing the dishes with your child, it’s not really about the dishes; it’s about strengthening your relationship. Take the chance to ask your child questions about their day or about the book they are reading. Likewise, if you’re gathering your family for prayer and scriptures, the purpose is to get closer to each other and to God. So, it’s counterproductive to yell or argue and damage the relationships in the process. Dig deep for more patience. Keep your cool. Try not to lose the Spirit in the process of gathering—trust me, it’s not worth it.
Endure to the End
It feels nice to “establish” something new in our lives. That word connotes a sense of foundation and strength. But experience has shown that we usually have to reestablish things over and over again. We try, and then come up short. Then we reevaluate and come back to it with new determination. This “enduring to the end” is a marathon, not a sprint. As parents, we are continually assessing to see where we need to teach something again, draw better boundaries or lay out expectations more clearly. Sometimes we pull tighter on the reins, and other times we loosen them to provide more freedom and autonomy. Through all this effort we are showing our families by example that enduring to the end involves work, mistakes, determination, and grit. The very act of enduring with our Come, Follow Me study will show and build faith in our children for years to come.
Get Issue 08 delivered straight to your mailbox by ordering an ad-free print or digital copy!