How to Fight Extreme Overwhelm
By Christa Jaussi
@toolsforstruggle
Women nurture. It’s what we do. We are in tune with the people around us. It’s almost like a sixth sense that goes off inside of us and it tingles until we take action and use our amazing womanly super powers to help. It’s incredible and I would never change it.
But it doesn’t feel amazing at times. At times, my energy is low and I don’t think I can have one more conversation about Minecraft with my child. At times, it doesn’t feel so awesome when you haven’t slept through the night for 10 months straight and there is an on-going pile of laundry that needs to be folded. At times, I have been touched and have had to touch gross things more in a 24-hour period than any one person should experience in a lifetime.
We are spread thin, tired, and have way too much going on in our lives. That’s when we get overwhelmed. It’s exhausting and can seem like we will never be able to do it all.
I found myself in this space a lot this past year as we added twins to our family. It has been a game of continual adjustment and learning and it hasn’t always been smooth. This was hard to begin with but then when all the closures and quarantine measures started taking place for Covid-19, it brought on a whole new learning curve when no one else could help us out. All of a sudden I had all my kids home all of the time and I was the only one who could help all of them in all aspects of their lives. My experience isn’t unique – if fact it’s humbling to have such a shared experience with others – but it doesn’t make it any easier.
Over time, I began craving ways to fight being so overwhelmed. I couldn’t give back two babies (and didn’t want to either) and Covid wasn’t going away, so I needed to figure this season of life out and adapt.
Here are some ideas to be less overwhelmed in your unique, challenging, and beautiful lives:
- Simplify What You Can. There are times and seasons of our lives. What is important at one time in our life may have to not make it on the priority list during another time. President Russel M. Nelson said this about accessing the power of God in our lives, “Part of this endeavor will require you to put aside many things of this world. Sometimes we speak almost casually about walking away from the world with its contention, pervasive temptations, and false philosophies. But truly doing so requires you to examine your life meticulously and regularly. As you do so, the Holy Ghost will prompt you about what is no longer needful, what is no longer worthy of your time and energy. As you shift your focus away from worldly distractions, some things that seem important to you now will recede in priority. You will need to say no to some things, even though they may seem harmless. As you embark upon and continue this lifelong process of consecrating your life to the Lord, the changes in your perspective, feelings, and spiritual strength will amaze you!”
- Actively Cultivate an Abundance Mindset. This one doesn’t come super naturally to me, but the more I practice it, the more grateful I become for everything I get to do in my life. Having an abundance mindset is remembering that there is enough. There is enough of me to give. There is enough time to do this, and there is enough time to do that. Time keeps going and if I can’t get to it right now, there is enough time later on. There is enough energy to devote to taking care of myself, and there is plenty of energy to take care of the people I love.
- One-by-One. Having an abundance mindset will set you up perfectly to look at things one-by-one. After having the twins I was sad for my older kids thinking that now they won’t get the best of me – I’m too tired and needed by these babies to be a good mom to them too. I thought about if all I had was my oldest child, I’d be the fun and coolest mom around. Then I thought, what if I look at him as if he is my only one. When I was able to look at him as one, instead of group him with my gaggle of children, I realized I could be more fun and in the moment with him. I could look at him asking me to come see the fort they just made and 100% think past the fact that I have to change a diaper or that his sister left her shoes on the couch instead of put them away. All that I set aside and saw just him for that moment. At that moment, he was my only one. I also realized that in decided to take things one-by-one, I could choose to take every situation one-by-one too. Even though shoes had been left out yesterday and the day before that, I could look at this time as a single event. How would I approach this if it was the one time shoes had been left out? Taking every person one at a time and taking every situation one at a time gives you the opportunity to do them all well, and to do a lot more than you would if you let everything spill into everything and get overwhelmed.
As women, we really do have a lot to do and people to love on. Our purpose is great and our motives are strong. Getting overwhelmed is a natural side effect of that – no guilt in it and no escaping it! So keep these tricks in your back pocket and pull them out when you need them. And most importantly, keep using those super powers.