The Power of Stillness
By Melissa Turney
In early 2020, shortly before the pandemic reached the United States, my husband and I found ourselves in a precarious financial situation. After a string of unfortunate events in 2019 which had depleted our savings, we became the victims of a hit-and-run car accident. In the months leading up to the accident, and the days following it, I was in a state of heightened anxiety, constantly asking the question, “How are we going to fix this?”
I have always been a believer in not waiting for somebody else to solve my problems. It feels comforting to work towards a solution, even if I can do little more than pace back and forth until my issue is resolved. I believe it derives from a society and culture that values busyness. Even within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we often remind ourselves to “…pray as if it all depends on God and work as if it all depends on you.” Stillness does not seem like progression. It feels unnerving.
After the accident, I made a list of all the miracles we were asking for. First, I prayed that the police would be able to find the person responsible. I also asked that we would not be held financially accountable in any way. Finally, I asked that the damage would be minimal and the car could be fixed.
Days passed, and one by one the miracles we were seeking were denied. Despite security cameras, the perpetrator was never caught. Because of this, we were on the hook financially to pay for bills we couldn’t afford. At the end of a very tough week, we were told that our van was totaled and we needed to immediately purchase another vehicle.
This last piece of news broke me. I fell to my bedroom floor and began to pray. My mind was reeling and I found it difficult to articulate the emotions that overwhelmed me. The only thing I could even think to say at the moment was, “Heavenly Father, I’m sad. I’m so sad.” And then I sat there on my knees, hands clasped together silently feeling my way through each emotion I was experiencing.
At that moment, I felt my Father there. It was in my complete surrender to His will after many months of working, wondering, and worrying. Not in the hustle, the checklists, or the solution I wanted. With nothing else for me to do, I was still and I knew God. In the stillness, I experienced clarity and began to see the multitude of blessings we were already receiving. Blessings that would sustain us through our difficult time and denote in all things that we were children of a loving and generous Father in Heaven.
More than a year has passed now, and little did I know in that small moment that the difficulties our family (and the world) would face would only grow within a few short weeks. The burdens we carried that day would seem insignificant compared to a global pandemic, social unrest, political contention, racial injustice, and countless other mountains to climb. Allowing myself to be still and know God sustained me through it all and increased my trust and faith. It helped me recognize and remember my blessings. It encouraged gratitude. It healed me.
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