How to Avoid Being Myopic in Our Relationships with Others
By Erin Ropelato
Are you myopic (nearsighted) sometimes? Do you ever have funnel vision? Have you ever been laser focused on one very specific thing you would love someone else do for you to show their love? How can we recognize the goodness of God and others all around us and “be of good cheer?”
REMEMBER GOD USUALLY SENDS OTHERS TO MEET OUR NEEDS
How can we recognize when the Lord is meeting our needs through family, friends, ministering sisters, leaders and strangers?
President Spencer W. Kimball taught, “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom.” (“Small Acts of Service,” Ensign, Dec. 1974, 5.)
Several years ago, my paternal grandpa passed away. He was the first person really close to me to return to the other side and I was almost 40 years old.
During this difficult time, I was yearning for comfort and peace. I was seeking for comfort and love from both sides of the veil.
REMEMBER TO OPEN YOUR SPIRITUAL EYES AND SEE OUTSIDE “THE PLAN”
What acts of kindness can I see all around me?
I somehow conjured up in my myopic mind what I thought earthly comfort should look like for me in my grief. I came up with a very specific way I wanted my family and friends to let me know they cared. I had many friends and family reach out to me in different ways but no one had executed “my plan.”
Members of my husband’s family came to the viewing, one friend attended the funeral service, another brought me flowers, I received several visits, hugs, cards in the mail, phone calls, texts, and other small gifts of love. Each one showing that others were aware.
REMEMBER TO LOOK BACK
How have others reached out in love and kindness?
After my grandpa’s funeral, I looked back and removed my myopic lens and saw all the earthly love, kindness, and comfort that had been shown to me. Everyone had done just a little something different and it was perfect and I recognized their concern and love.
I realized if everyone had executed “my plan” with perfection, they would have done the exact same thing. Gratefully, the Holy Ghost prompted others to help in many different ways.
I am reminded often of Nephi when he wrote “having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.” (1 Nephi 1:1). Nephi wrote this account many years later— it’s in the looking back that Nephi realized how he had been highly favored of the Lord.
We, too, can look back and see all the goodness of family and friends. We, too, can look and see the tiny acts of kindness and love others are performing in our behalf and of those we love.
REMEMBER TO REFLECT AND SHARE
How can I relate this experience to my own life?
I have gone back to this example time and time again in my life since that day. I have raised my hand in Sunday School and Relief Society to share and remind myself of all the ways the Lord answers my prayers by those earth side to avoid being myopic. As we share lessons learned, others can use those same experiences and relate them to their own lives. I often find myself looking back over my day or my week or my year to notice those small acts of kindness that “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (Doctrine and Covenants 81:5).
REMEMBER TO PAY IT FORWARD
Who needs my help today? Who needs a kind word, a text or a visit?
As we avoid being myopic and recognize the small acts of kindness of others, we are naturally inclined to “pause to help and lift another” (Hymns, 220). True joy and cheer come as we serve and love one another. Our spirit can and will be lifted while giving service to those in our homes, wards and neighborhoods.
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